Groundhog Day, Gratitude, and the Fight to Feel Like Yourself Again

Because showing up for your life shouldn’t mean disappearing in it

Some mornings, I wake up and feel like I’m trapped in the movie Groundhog Day.

Same routine. Same responsibilities. Same mental load on repeat.

And somewhere between the school drop-offs, office meetings, grocery runs, and last-minute “Mom, I need this for practice!” requests… I blink and the day is over.

Then I do it again.

And again.

And again.

The Midlife Push-Pull Nobody Warned Us About

Here’s the truth: I don’t want to wait until retirement to feel free.

Because let’s be real — who says my energy, health, or mobility will be waiting for me like a reward at the finish line?

But also? I’m tired right now.

I’m in my 50s. I’ve lived, loved, worked, and sacrificed — and I’m still doing all of that while carrying so much.

Taking care of my youngest.

Supporting aging parents.

Leading teams.

Holding emotional space for others.

Trying to keep a home together.

Trying to keep myself together.

Sometimes, I wonder…

Where did I go in all of this?

I Love My Life — But I’m Still Tired

Let me be clear:

I’m not ungrateful.

I love my people.

I love my work.

I even love being the go-to — the one who holds it all down.

But some days, I feel like I’m losing pieces of myself in the caring.

I’m not trying to run away from my life.

I just want to feel like I’m living it fully.

To move from survival into sovereignty — not just existing, but owning my time, energy, and joy.

The Small Things That Help Me Feel Like Me

When I say “stop and smell the roses,” I don’t mean that metaphorically.

I literally mean I stop — even for 15 minutes — to:

• Sip a cup of tea and feel the warmth in my hands

• Stand in the sun like a solar panel, charging

• Take a shower that feels like a spa escape (complete with good products and imaginary hotel music)

• Spray a new perfume

• Buy a lipstick that makes me feel sassy

• Go sit by the river (or any body of water) and breathe

Because a mini-escape is still an escape.

And no, I haven’t bought the plush robe yet — but now that I think about it, I’m adding that to cart.

These are the small rituals that remind me:

I am still here.

I am still blooming.

Even on days when life is demanding and quiet joy is the only thing I can claim.

You Can Take Care of Others Without Losing Yourself

I always tell my kids:

Be selfish — but be considerate.

Because if you don’t take care of yourself first (the selfish part), you’ll have nothing left to offer others.

But always do it with love and consideration for the people around you.

I’ve had to learn to apply that to myself too.

That it’s not indulgent to rest.

That it’s not selfish to say “Not right now.”

That choosing you is the most sustainable form of love you can offer the world.

Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Escape Your Life to Reclaim It

I used to think I had to wait for a perfect moment to feel like myself again.

That if I couldn’t take a beach vacation or unplug for a week, it didn’t count.

But now I know — rejuvenation happens in the moments you reclaim, not the ones you postpone.

A shower can be your sanctuary.

A sip of tea can be your exhale.

A quiet walk, a breezy window, a five-minute journal entry — these are breadcrumbs back to yourself.

So no, life isn’t always perfectly balanced.

Sometimes it feels like a never-ending loop.

But you can find pieces of yourself within it.

You don’t have to wait until you retire to start living.

With love + light + a little sass,

~April

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