What Is Gratitude, Really?

It’s more than thank you notes and inspirational quotes

I’m grateful.

Grateful that I made it out of some really sucky circumstances in my youth and early adulthood.

Grateful for my family, my friends, my job, my health… so on and so forth.

But lately I’ve been wondering:

If I complain, does that mean I’m not thankful?

If I want more — more peace, more growth, more clarity — does that mean I’m ungrateful for what I already have?

Because I say thank you.

I thank the server at the restaurant, the bagger at the grocery store.

Even when the food wasn’t great or the prices felt disrespectful.

And someone could easily say, Well at least you had money to eat out. Some people don’t.

And they wouldn’t be wrong.

But here’s the thing: gratitude doesn’t cancel your humanity.

Gratitude and Growth Can Coexist

I’ve scraped and clawed my way into a life that has options.

Not luxury — but choice. That alone is a privilege I don’t take lightly.

So yes, I’m grateful.

Even when I vent. Even when I want more.

Even when I roll my eyes at overpriced produce.

Gratitude isn’t about pretending everything’s fine.

It’s about holding the truth of your blessings and your burdens at the same time.

It’s sitting in the discomfort and still saying: There’s light here, too.

Gratitude Is an Action, Not Just a Feeling

Friends connecting in gratitude

To me, gratitude isn’t just the words. It’s what you do with them.

It’s showing up for the people you love.

It’s reaching out even when your pride says, “But she hasn’t called me.”

It’s staying open-hearted when it would be easier to shut down.

Case in point:

A friend of mine had been on my heart for weeks. I kept meaning to call, but time — as it does — slipped away.

One day, I stopped the mental ping-pong of Should I? Why hasn’t she reached out? Maybe she’s mad.

And I just picked up the phone.

She didn’t answer.

But five minutes later, she called back. Said she only had a second — she was picking up family for her daughter’s college graduation — but seeing my missed call touched her heart.

And let me tell you — that little exchange filled me all the way up.

Because she felt seen. And I felt connected.

That, to me, is gratitude in motion.

Gratitude Lives in the Small Things

I used to think I needed big, grand moments to feel thankful.

Turns out, it’s the quiet ones that carry the most weight.

• A shared laugh with an old friend

• A sunrise that reminds you you’re still here

• A text that says, “Just checking on you”

• A deep breath after a long day

Gratitude lives there — in the in-between.

In the pause.

In the presence.

And when you live in gratitude, not just feel it — it multiplies.

It heals. Literally.

The Science (and Soul) of Gratitude

Studies show that consistent gratitude practices can:

• Reduce stress and anxiety

• Improve heart health and sleep quality

• Boost emotional resilience

• Rewire your brain for positivity (no toxic vibes needed)

But even without the research, you can feel it.

Gratitude brings you back to now.

It softens the hard edges of life.

Gratitude for What Was, and What Is Becoming

Friendships shift. People change.

But I’m still grateful for what was — for the memories we made, the ways they helped shape me, and the permission they gave me to grow.

If you’re navigating changing relationships, Mel Robbins’ book Let Them has a chapter that gave me the most freeing mindset shift. Highly recommend if you’re learning to let go without bitterness.

So What Is Gratitude, Really?

It’s not just saying thank you.

It’s being thank you.

It’s reaching out, not waiting.

It’s presence.

It’s perspective.

It’s choosing not to spiral when the moment could take you there.

It’s remembering what matters most — and acting like it does.

And most of all, it’s a practice.

One that doesn’t require perfection — just intention.

If you’ve been struggling with gratitude lately, be gentle with yourself.

You’re not doing it wrong. You’re just still blooming.

With love + light + a little sass,

~April

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